Puppy Battle Wounds and Other Tales.hahaz

And then God said, “Let there was wireless in the lounge.” 

That’s right, folks!  This is going to be the first blog from a wholly wireless access point.  I guess that doesn’t change my writing in the least.  Actually it’s pretty irrelevant for anyone to know.  Still:  I AM PUMPED!

Alright.  So.  When I sat down to write this I had a few points that I wanted to discuss and here is that ever so tiny list: (Don’t the last three items pair frighteningly well?  And would you even say pair since there’s three of them?!  ZOMG!)

1)      Impromptu Waltzing and Or You Could Kiss Me.

2)      Purple Clothing

3)      Some Quotes from Jenny Katz

4)      Hogwarts Housing

5)      Puppy Battle Wound

6)      Chocolate

7)      Wine

8)      Sex

I think that I am missing some things from this list, the written one that is.  I know that I had some interesting things to say about little snippets of life here and there, but they are escaping me now.  When they come back, I’ll let ya know.  Also: How awful is Facebook when you’re trying to write a blog?  So much distraction in one website.  Now that our network is wireless, will I ever get work done? 

Nah.

One:  Impromptu Waltzing and Or You Could Kiss Me

           

This Tuesday night, Miss Izzy Brown and I took a trip to the National Theatre.  (Really, it was our third trip to the National in four days in the attempt to see the italicized show above.  The first night we tried, we ran the whole way there and were only disappointed by a sold out show.  The second time we travelled was Sunday.  When we arrived at 7pm to buy tickets for the 7:30 showing we were puzzled.  The theatre isn’t open?  It’s Sunday?  They only show matinees on Sundays?  We knew that ahead of time?  We knew that ahead of time and still tried to show up?  God. We’re awesome.)  When we got to the ticket office of the Cottisloe—one of the three venues at the National Theatre—the gentleman at the booth was nearly as excited as we were that tickets were still available for that night’s performance.  How much were these coveted tickets you ask?  Ten Pounds.  Done.  Embarrassingly, Izzy and I were seated between two elderly couples and spent about 80 minutes of 100 minute show sniffling and sighing.  The show features a relationship between a gay male couple.  For the most part, the show highlights the later part of their life.  Heart wrenching, really.  Oh, did I mention that it was done with wooden puppets that somehow make it more emotionally draining? 



Not Quite Waltzing



When did I start crying so much, by the way?  I am usually a much more put together person than this.  Awkward!

Before we saw the show, however, Izzy taught me some basic waltz procedure and we practiced a little outside.  It was endearing.  I think anyone that saw us thought, “My goodness, what an adorable couple!”  Or, “What a couple of whack jobs!  What the hell are they doing?”  I guess I don’t care either way.  It was nice.

Two: Purple Clothing



IT GETS BETTER!



Today you should have been wearing nothing but purple.  I get it.  It’s not actually possible for everyone to wear nothing but purple, but you could try right?  It was in memory of the six cases of teen suicide as of recent in the United Sates: six boys who took their own lives because other individuals bullied them in reference to sexuality; six kids took their lives because people made fun of them for being gay.  I don’t pretend to be a pillar of morality.  Let’s face it: I am guilty, guilty, guilty of many, many things.  But seriously, Americans?  This is who we are?  I think that everyone should adopt the mentality of Stacy Little.  She is the person I put on a level of goodness that is hardly attainable.  Regardless:  She is an upstanding human being and I wish that these youths had people in their lives like her. 

This was quite tangential.

Anyway:  I am wearing purple underwear, a purple v-neck, purple socks, a purple bandana on my wrist, and a purple bracelet.  Lots of love to those families.

Three:  Some Quotes from Jenny Katz

Jenny Katz is a fantastic person.  Also, as I have mentioned before, she has no filter.  Of course, I love this.  I don’t like to gush while writing (because I love punctuation and when you write how you feel it’s pretty much just continuous thought), but holyshit sheislikethe funniestever so funny you couldkeeloveranddiewhilelaughing!  I can’t decide if these quotes need context.  I will try to set them up a little.

  

A)    Drew is actually a freak when it comes to knowing the music we grew up on.  So I was quizzing him one night and Aaron Carter’s Aaron’s Party came up on my iTunes.  Jenny started humming I Want Candy and Izzy and Drew called her out on grounds of “wrong song.”  Jenny replied with:  “I was doing a mash-up; fuck you!”



Our Relationship



B)    When discussing how much we love Laura, a girl in our program, and what we would say to her: “Your eyebrows are so far from the color of your hair that I just want to rub my face on your eyebrows!  So pretty!”

C)    When discussing sexuality: “I lean toward the peen.”

D)    “Tequila.  That shit gets me horny.” No context needed: the two of us agree on so many things.

Four:  Hogwarts Housing

Not only do I LOVE Harry Potter, but I recently realized that I get to see the premiere of part 1 while I am over here in London.  Where better to see HP?!  Anyway, given my unhealthy obsession—who writes four critical essays on HP in COLLEGE?—I have taken upwards of 15 housing exams and even worn several speaking sorting hats.  (I am not even counting tests with questions like: “Would you rather take potions or transfiguration?”) I can only remember one occasion that I was placed in Ravenclaw and one occasion that I heard a hat shout: GRYFFINDOR!  Every other time I have interacted with the sorting hat or a test pretending to be the sorting hat: Slytherin.  I think it’s because that’s where they put the evil gay kids!!!  But really, why me?  I think it’s because I secretly want to have a mischievous image.  I want people to look at me and think, holy, what a bad ass!  I want to be that kid that everyone thinks about when something has gone terribly wrong.  

A Seriously Sinister Guy

I don’t warp my answers to reflect this; I always answer very truthfully and instinctively.  I think that I must just be destined for anything green or menacing.  Anyway, this was on my mind for a multitude of reasons.  All of which escape me now, except that I saw a bunch of people take the quiz on FB.

Five: Puppy Battle Wounds

I was returning from South Ken today and I happened upon an adorable puppy.  When I first saw her, I was like, OH, PUPPY! (in one of those weird voices I do)  The puppy was equally excited to see me and tried running up to me, only to be recoiled by her leash and collar.  I couldn’t help myself from giggling as he toppled over and rolled around on the dirty sidewalk while his owner looked onward, obviously skeptical of my obsession with this little critter.  So, he offered: “do you want to touch her?”  OMG. YES.  I was like a small child. PUPPY!  As he jumped up and yipped and scratched I couldn’t help but fall down to his level and make small child noises at his face.  Then, a small victory: I started bleeding from a puppy scratch!  A puppy battle wound!  I don’t know why it hit me as awesome; I must really be missing my dogs.

Six:  Chocolate

As I highlighted in a previous post, I recently attended a wine tasting in the greater Chelsea Area.  Of course, all the wine samplings I have attended, including conventions, gatherings, etc, have had great pairing selections on site.  Luckily, this gala was no different; we got to sample some INSANE chocolate.  The morel that first comes to mind is 91% cocoa, chocolate covered almonds.  They’re delicious, especially when paired with a simple blush or a rich merlot.  But, let’s get real:  I will eat chocolate and drink wine until I die.

Seven: Wine

I know nothing about wine, other than what I learned about it this weekend.  However, I have started having a glass with meals and at night just as a pleasant experience.  I feel grown up.  But really:  when did I get this age-ed?  (I realize I could have written “aged,” but I wanted you to pronounce it as two syllables.)

Before I get to eight, here is a quote from Miss Izzy Brown referring to a person in our program.  She’s a classy lady: “I really like how he talks.  And he has that cute face…And I really want to fuck his body.”   

Also: Fable III comes out in less than a week now.  I have to keep telling myself that I didn’t come to the EU to play video games, but I will miss that part of life a lot next week.  What I did come here to do, however, was see some phenomenal theatre; I’ve accomplished that.  On the agenda for tomorrow?  Hamlet. I am ill with anticipation.

Eight: Sex

I really enjoy this aspect of life.

It’s a lot of fun.

Sorry, no details here, I just used it as a ploy.

I just wanted you to read this entry.  And it looks like it worked! BAH!

All that Jazz,

Josh