Epic Monday.yikez

Right.  So, Monday night was epic.  Let’s talk about it.

Jenny, Jamie, Jaqcue, Drew, and Steve had left Izzy, Ben, and I alone for the evening because they decided that going to an Ice Bar and paying £12.50 for one drink and admission would be much more fun than an evening with us.  Alright, that’s not exactly what happened, but you need to play up the drama for readers to keep doing their job.  You know, reading?  Anyway.  The three of us were sitting around reading ancient texts and debating the merits of hieroglyphs vs. Incan and Aztecan character writings when, all of a sudden, Ben had a brilliant idea.  Why don’t we just go for a walk and find something to do while the rest of the gang is out at the Ice Bar?  Of course, Izzy and I were quite brain tired from all the hard work we had been doing so we decided that Ben’s idea was just dandy.  So, grabbing our oyster cards for transportation and five pounds each for situations of “just in case we want a drink,” we left the dorm building in search of a new location.

When we arrived at the tube station in South Kensington, we found a little place on the central line called Holland Park that caught each of our eyes.  What a grand locale, we all thought.  When the three of us got off the tube and back up to the surface, the first thing we saw was a woman digging through the trash and mumbling, “I have to find my kitty wumpkins.”  This was going to be a good night.

Our first stop was at a little run down convenience store where we tried to buy three bottles of wine.  Unfortunately, they were IDing at the register and only Ben had his on him.  So, thinking we could all just pay him for the wine, we gave him all three bottles and some money pay to pay the clerk.  The clerk happened to be quite inept with the English language and wouldn’t actually sell Ben more than one bottle because she had seen Izzy and I give him the bottles and the money…  I still am rather unsure as to why he was stopped for supplying to non-minors.  Also, she had a couple crazy eyes…it was all very unsettling.  Next!

 We came to a shady off sale liquor store and bought two more bottles and a corkscrew to open them.  Hooray!  We all have a bottle!  I like to believe that this is when the night actually began to take place.  After opening our bottles, we began to drink from some nice plastic bags and walk around our new surroundings.  Our first stop was at some giant mall that, to this day, I am uncertain that it exists.  It was too magical to be real.  There were HALO: REACH signs everywhere which, by association, forced me to remember that the new Professor Layton game is now out in the US and I will have to wait until December to play it.  Anyway, we wandered and wandered until we reached a cool little fountain that was flowing from the wall.  Good times.  A security guard started walking our way so we scattered like the three ninjas in that one film, The 3 Ninjas.

As we were racing across the pavilion, we happened upon a man who was shouting obscenities and walking in tight circles.  It was terrifying and also intriguing.  We didn’t stick around to see who he was talking to.

Also, this all occurred in a place called Shepherd’s Bush…hehe.

We took a bus to Hyde Park.  That is, we thought we took a bus to Hyde Park.  We may have gotten off a little early because Izzy and I had to urinate.  Luckily, we found a rather ritzy hotel and decided that we wanted to use their facilities.  When I asked the receptionist if there was a bathroom on this floor so I wouldn’t have to go all the way up to my room she said that there was one just a floor up and could she see my room key?  I laughed and thanked her and briskly stumbled to the elevator.  We tried to go out the back door, but it was locked.  Luckily, rotating doors never get old and we pushed our way forward, always forward.

Finally, having found Hyde Park, we took a seat on a bench and began to chat about life and love and all the above.  At the end of our beautiful conversation, and at many points during, we peed on a tree to commemorate the great occasion.  After placing our empty bottles—yes, all three were finished—on a fence and taking a picture of their beauty we took a bus home…I think.

Our friends had arrived home and boy were we happy to see them!  So happy in fact that Izzy and I decided it would be a great idea to not only sing “Don’t Rain on My Parade” at the top of our lungs, but also accentuate each of the brass moments with a slap of our hands on the table.  It was so loud and beautiful that our RA, Cah-Laire, who lives about ten doors away, was awakened and rhetorically questioned us into submission.  As Izzy put it, “I can’t actually understand what’s wrong unless you ask condescending rhetorical questions.”  Apparently, we were quite the sight to behold.  At one point (or two), I passed out in the Kitchen…Classy.  Also, and important to note, Jacque had to pay me, yes, PAY ME, to drink water.  I hear I was quite pointedly bratty with her.  Such is life!

Monday’s aren’t actually that bad in the UK.